I dont want to let you go but it hurts my hands to hold the rope.

Months have passed and I have failed to update on a regular basis. I think it's because I've been writing much more in my personal journals and I have yet to really sit down and churn these experiences and days into something I would like to share with the masses.

Seattle is great. I really feel at home here and the Fall has shown up right on time and Meshuggah is in constant rotation.

I have been painting and drawing a lot recently and in the past months I feel like I have sparked that flame that I used to have artistically. Instead of listening to the voices outside of my head I have turned inwards and in the form of true artistry I am listening to the creative voices in my head and following my true intuition. I'm quitting my job at Apple and moving on to other chapters in my life.

Below is one selection of personal writings that I feel explain a good bit about what is going on in my daily life. Please read, but please read with an open mind on many of the things I will talk about. I will post follow-up entries to fully explain most of my writings. Teasers is all.

Aug3009

"...more and more have I been thinking about quitting my job. I almost feel that this is the test(s) that I have at this juncture in life. There is an inner guidance that I now understand is the symbiotic parter that I will have at my side through the res of my life. Wow. So that in itself says that One; that yes, there is an opposite of me because for every action there is a reaction. The reaction is me. Me writing, me walking, me talking. But I am the radiation that is visible only to the creator. And Two; the creator is the energy that accompanies all of us and resides in the third eye. The native life there in the spirit realm and that time and places physical abundance of love and knowledge, that...that is the action. We are a FILTER."

This is just a quick insight into my life here. There will be much more discussed and documented, but for now I feel that the excerpt above is a wonderful start.

Consume to Produce.

Maybe I'll never see you again.

Each morning that I wake up I crack open this deck of cards that explain each chakra and ways to promote physical and emotional awareness.  There are different yoga positions that you engage in for a few moments and phrases that will stay with you during the day.  I've started to turning that act of going to bed a more sacred act as of late.  Each night I will write before going to bed, and then I read one of the cards that I have.  I found that doing these things help me out with remembering my dreams at night.  Oh yeah, and not being ultra baked helps too.

My hair is getting long as hell and I cant wait for the summer vacation I will have in Atlanta.  Im not sure how both my long hair and summer vacations come together but oh well fuck it.

I found an interesting website about what Black Holes would possibly look like if we ever attempted to go inside one.  

For the first time in 2 months I am officially out of weed.  

Rearrangements

Wow it has been a while since i have written to you.  Well in the mean time I managed to almost burn this apartment complex down to the ground, Completely rearranged my place, found a really nice home stereo system, and managed to start cooking a lot of different foods every night.  

Mimi and I were having a little arts and crafts day last week and we were making clay beads and other assorted pieces of clay art!  We got pretty toasted and we were video chattin up the interwebs with my friends in IRR and all of the sudden I realized there was a fire in my oven.  Well, long story short, my place filled up with smoke like 420 and I was convinced that the Fire Department was coming.  All was well though, nothing happened now my apartment will forever smell like burning plastic.  

I was cruising Craigslist for a few days and finally came across a really cool Home Stereo system straight out of the early 90s for 50 bucks!  I drove down to Tacoma and picked it up the other morning.  I smoked a splif down there and didn't realize how heavy this son of a bitch was.  No Fun.  Speaking of FUN. Go check out the band called FUN.  If you liked The Format then this band is for you!  Its basically the members of The Format that decided to stay together and continue to create dope ass music.  Now I need to go buy a new needle or cartridge for the record player today and I am set.

I've really gotten a kick out of cooking different types of food recently.  Each night is like Iron Chef in my kitchen.  I get wild on experimenting with different vegetables.  I have pretty much cut red meat out of my diet and I can tell that I feel better and that I am loosing a little bit of weight.  Chicken will always be a thorn in my side, I just love it too much.  I need to find a place to garden and then I am set.  Red Peppers, green peppers, squash, red and white onions, carrots and sprouts, mmmmmmmmmm......

I MISS THE HELL OUT OF THIS LITTLE DUDE, LOVE YOU FREEDOM

Playlist:

El Grupo Nuevo de Omar Rodriguez Lopez - Cryptomnesia

Earl Greyhound - Soft Targets

MewithoutYou - It's All Crazy! It's All False! It's All a Dream! It's Alright

Roll a splif for the way down

Just another wonderful morning

What a beautiful day it is here in Seattle.  A crisp 51 degrees and it will be getting to 71 today.  I have to work all afternoon and night but I've got my trusty sidekick known as maryjane that is always by my side.  Yesterday was a fun day being high and all. I will have to admit I felt like I could just walk around with a bowl and just fire it up here.  Everyone was stoned.

Started my day by listening to the new Irreversible track on their myspace.  I must say, it was awesome to hear a new sound from them that I have yet to have the opprutnity to hear.  The vocals demanded to be paid attention to as did the lows.  Cant wait to finally see them play live soon.

Off to work.

I have a feeling this weekend will be extra special with all of the good vibes I am receiving 

Playlist

Earth - Pentastar: In the style of demons

God Is An Astronaut: The end of the beginning 

ISIS - Wavering Radiant

National Record Store Day

I woke up early today so I could get a good crack at buying some good vinyl records today at Easy Street Records.  There are about 1000 Record Stores across the country that are involved in preserving the culture of purchasing good music and good prices from good people.  There are in-store preformances at all of the record stores in Seattle and Wolves In The Throne Room are closing out the days activites at 9:00 with a free show. Amputechture

I got some good finds this morning, check them out:

1.  Godflesh - ST

2.  Old Man Gloom - Seminar II

3.  Om - Pilgrimage

4.  The Mars Volta - Amputechture

5.  Torche - Meanderthal

6.  Russian Circles - Station

7.  Russian Circles and These Arms Are Snakes Split

8. Taking Back Sunday - Carpathia EP

Going out and exploring some places I've yet to check out today.  Portugal. The Man played here two nights ago for about 2 hours and although I have seen them twice before this time was better than all because it was like a home show for them.  Everyone at this show seemed to know all the members of the band and were heckling them on stage.  They had two 15 to 20 minute jams during the set and of course my head was like a kite so it was even better.  

"Computers run with the soul"

Playlist:

Manchester - Mean Everything To Nothing

Deltron 3030 - Deltron 3030

Doomriders - Black Thunder

Radiant Levels Of Communication

Wow.  the past few days have been full of surprises and neat things to do which is why I haven't updated in a few days.  I guess i will work in chronological order of the most recent happenings in life.

The other day I walked outside to see these two crows dive bombing a tree next to my car.  I looked up at them to see what they were fucking with and all of the sudden I saw it.  Two North American Bald Eagles were perched atop the ancient Evergreen and looking out at Puget Sound, not giving a shit about the two crows being a nuisance to them.  I didn't even get in the car to go to work for about 5 minutes.  I was trying to call everyone back home to project the scene that I saw 3,000 miles back home so that they could live the moment too.  This distance between us is becoming even more apparent now that I am truly settled in and living in Seattle.  

Another story.

There is a beach near my home here called Discovery Beach and it is the end of the Continental Land and outlooks to the Olympic Mountains.  Mimi and I went and renamed it to Discover Your Treasure Beach.  We found so many cool things like shells and stones while we were there.  I found this perfect Walking Stick that I will start carving things into it and painting it.  There is another called Golden Gardens that we went to with a few other people and cooked out and had a fire on the beach going.  Total scene out of a movie.

Last night.

I had my first psychedelic experience in Seattle last night.  The plant showed me how to express my knowledge to others.  I was, to say, leading the way into the path of knowledge.  Very uplifting if I may so my self.  The full moon is full effect by the way.

So I have been reading a good bit more and recently I have been enjoying "Breaking Open The Head", by Daniel Pinchbeck and I have been seeing some very important and beautiful messages in the writings.  One quote that sticks out in my head for sure was Henry Millers, "The goal of life is not to process power, but rather to radiate it".  I am actively seeking new forms of creation in my life and the first way I will project my self to others will be in the form of music.  And I know inside I possess these skill and vision of communication, but I have been too lazy to seek a form of expression in music.  So with out my initiative in trying to radiate the music never will come out right.  I am now just going with it and letting 'it", what ever that may be, to just let me be a filter to its waves and energy and give it a place to surge from.  

I AM A FILTER

Playlist:

ISIS - "Wavering Radiant" 

Weezer - "The Blue Album"

mewithoutYou - Catch Us For The Foxes"

In it.

One month ago today I arrived in Seattle.

My life changed the moment I left Atlanta

I wouldn't have changed one thing if I could

If you could only see how happy I am.

I bought a bride

Yesterday was one of those days that you will look back on in two years and say to yourself, "holy shit that was fucking cool."

The other night Black Mountain played here in Seattle and I am sure that is all I have to say.  This band is incredible and needs to be heard by Y-O-U.  Think of Pink Floyd's "Atom Heart Mother" meets Jefferson Airplane.  I love it.

Brand New played an acoustic set yesterday for about 2 hours at Neumo's in Seattle.  I managed to buy a ticket the night before at a bar and I wound up being in the second row, dead center.  I have never been able to see Brand New for some reason or another and finally after a few years it kinda came true.  Jesse and Vinnie were on stage taking requests and playing new songs as well as old songs, both acoustic, which was a great treat.  Both of them had to have been stoned or tripped out because it was a free for all up there.  Jesse kept forgetting lyrics, Vinnie kept forgetting his parts and then just when you thought they had their shit together, both of them forget the whole song.  All in all, it was a one off show.  I must say, if you have never seen Jesse Lacey play acoustic guitar get your ass out to the next solo tour and check it out.  It was incredible to hear him sing Jesus and Degausser over a guitar with no effects or drums.  I must say that I think I now understand why Jesse has that demeanor that you always see him have.  I have been listening to Brand New for four years now, and never have any of the songs sounded or seemed so personal to me.  Maybe it was the fact I was blazed out of my head, but never the less I will be able to put that in my top five shows of all time.  

Afterwards Mimi and her co-worker Chris (which is a cool dude and reminds me of all my friends back home and I may start a Drone metal band with) and I went out to a bar for a cheap pitcher and found this neat little hole in the wall underground bar that had the feel of the Clairmont Lounge in Atlanta and El Mir in Atlanta. All the members of These Arms Are Snakes Work there so that is an obvious plus for me.  Afterwards we all wound up walking around Downtown and found another sweet spot to chill and grub.  Pardon me but I forgot the restaurants name but to put the atmosphere into words think of:  Amsterdam meets a Train Car.  Each of the tables was its own nook and they all had curtains that you draw for privacy and cheap good food.  Everything had either Blue Cheese and or Hummus on it.  HEAVEN!

Anyways, back to normal work week.  This weekend was very special to me and magical.  I just cooked a very nice Italian Stew and it is ready to be consumed.  I wish I were back in Atlanta to see my friends.  Miss you dudes.

Music:

Black Mountain - In The Future

Brand New - Two new songs ( They are on YouTube just google Brand New Seattle )

Russian Circles - Enter

Brand New - Gasoline ( New Song First Time Played Live )

stoney stoney high

Today was a magical day.  First wake up, toke a bit.  I made some pretty kick ass mexican style rice this morning for lunch.  Next stop, Bagel Oasis.  Bagel joints are no joke, they seem to have the same feel as a coffee shop except with edibles not drinkables.  Mimi hooked it up with a weeks worth of bagels and cream cheeses.  After she got out of work we went to Snowqualme Falls.  Traffic was an utter nightmare and believe me it puts Atlanta traffic to shame. 

Not even a mile away I get pulled over by a cop for doing like 56 in a 40.  I see that she pulls a u-turn so I ditch a joint that I rolled earlier.  Dumb move.  Anyways she pulls me over and is real cool, starts asking me about Atlanta and asking if I like the northwest yet, yada yada yada...So she runs my licence just to check on me and no shit- I have a suspended licence.  Oh well she says she told me to get out and let someone else drive away and she shrugged her shoulders.  Then she says " is there any pot in the car?" I say no maam not at all.  She goes, " well its not like you would tell me truth anyways" and laughs it off.  

So we got to the falls and let me tell you one quick thing, it was my first time ever seeing a water fall and it kinda took me back a little bit.  This thing dropped 236 feet that is 100 feet higher than Niagara Falls.  We hiked all the way down all the way through  very dense old forest with tall trees and moss growing on them.  We went exploring around the rocks next to the water fall and took a lot of funny pictures, check them out below.  At least we still had one joint when we got to the water fall.

So then we went to see Black Mountain at Neumos tonight.  This band bridges the gap between old Pink Floyd a little bit of The Beattles trippier sounds and Jefferson Starship/Airplane.  Go check them out.  Im talking 15 minute jams and crazy solos and this girl that has unbelievable control over her voice and her pitch.  

BUT CHECK THIS OUT:

Brand New had to cancel the show in Alaska tomorrow and instead they are playing an acoustic show tomorrow at 4:00pm.  I bought a ticket tonight and I am stoked as all hell to finally get o see Brand New in some sort of a fashion.  

Music:

Black Mountain - In The Future

Anthony Green - Avalon

Cave In - Perfect Pitch Black

Im finally out where I belong.

1000 hymns of inspiration

Im not really sure if anyone is actually reading this, but I will not let that thought let me stop updating.  

Last night I drove down to Tacoma with my friends Mimi and Eli.  We went to our friends house to pick up a few bags and to hang out.  First off let me tell you that it would seem that nothing goes on in Tacoma.  When we got to downtown Tacoma I suddenly started talking about the apartment that I was supposed to move in when I got up here.  Out of no where the apartment just seemed to show up and we drove by it.  Tacoma has a neat little historic feel to it and there is a lot of this so-called "urban development".  Long story short it is the same distance as Kennesaw is to Atlanta and it is just like Canton/Kennesaw.  

Over at our friends house that we went to there was this beautiful half wolf half lab there.  His name is auto and he is the chillest dog I have ever seen.  Let alone the fact that this dog is half pure, straight out of the woods wolf.  He was just like a big fuzz ball and it all made me think of my dog back home that died yesterday.  Louie was the sweetest little bulldog anyone knew.  He will be greatly missed and I wish I had some time to go back into and just love him all over and let him know that he was loved by all.  It really hurt my mom a lot inside when he died yesterday and all I've thought about was how sad my mom must be having her dog die, having her only son 3000 miles away and how she is seemingly lost at times in this world.  My mom is a smart woman but it just seems that she cannot let herself go enough to find joy in everything around her.  But don't most of our parents seem that way.  Well I am about to get to this granddaddy purp as the kids call it and watch LOST.  

Music: 

Butch Walker - Sycamore Meadows

Thrice - The Alchemy Indexes - AIR

Deftones - White Pony

let your light shine through

Now see-saw your partner

Last night we all went out and tried line dancing.  Now first off I must warn you, it was not my idea but I am glad that we went.  Ok, so now that is out of the way.  Yeah, so line dancing is apparently really popular up here.  We went to this bar that every other Monday night what looked to be a few hundred people all gather up drink their Tall Boy PBR's and all doseedo with their partner.  My goofy ass self was not having anything to do with it at first but I finally said "what the hell, lets go".  Anyways, I suggest that you try your way at line dancing too. I just felt like that was something out of Reading Rainbow when all the kids were doing audible book reports art the end of the show.  But hey, "don't take my word for it".

After that we made it to Easy Street Records to pickup the re-issue of Ten on vinyl last night at midnight.  Apparently the dudes from Pearl Jam were going to be there but I didn't see them at all.  That record shop is pretty much on top of their game.  The Metal section is kinda bleak but they have every major Hydra Head album that is still in print, in stock.  Im talking Boris, Sunn O))), ISIS, Jesu, Kayo Dot, you name it, it is there.

The girls from Colorado have left and returned home today.  I have a new respect for polaroid cameras.  There will be eventful photos to be seen very soon.  I'm finally out of my element and I am having way too much fun.

Music

ISIS - NEW SONG!!!!!  20 Minutes / 40 Years 

Golden Boots - New Album ???

Team Sleep - ST

Take'em out back behind the shed and shoot em'

This weekend was great.  Mimi had two really cool friends come into Seattle from Boulder Colorado.  Two really opposite girls in all aspects, but genuinely great friends.  Saturday marked the first day of Spring, and what a beautiful day it was out here.  Mimi and I went to this book store called East West Book Store.  It was very much like Phoenix and Dragon back in Atlanta or just picture Crystal Blue on steroids and there you have it.  They were having a welcoming Spring open house with tarot readings, speaking from various speakers, massages, aromatherapy you name it, it was there.  I picked up a really cool aragonite stone and some sage and a smudge stick.  There are a lot of very interesting Speakers coming to the book store and I will be enrolling in meditation classes there.  The first classes will be all about breath awareness and observation of the flow of breath with chanting.  

There is so much positive energy out here, all I have to do next is quit my fucking job.  This job is not what I need to be apart of, I just need to get money for Bonnaroo and then I'm home free.

Saturday was cool, we all went to the Seattle Science center and watched Dark Side of The Rainbow.  You know the deal, push play on dvd player for Wizard of Oz, hit play on CD player of Dark Side of The Moon.  Kinda cool seeing how it was projected huge as fuck on a dome kind of like the planetarium in Atlanta.  

Pot is out of hand up here.

I am going hiking and camping in the rainforest that is up here next month.  I cant wait.  

Music Playlist:

Thrice - Live at The House of Blues

Starting Line - Direction

Blacklisted - Heavier Than Heaven, Lonelier Than God

New is happening

Creation of this blog has been debated for quite some time and I figured I would finally create one once I had found myself settled in for the long haul in Seattle.  So far everything is working out the way it is supposed to, but if I didn't like the outcome does that mean it still ended up the way it was supposed to?  

Seattle is a wonderful city.  Everyone seems like they are welcoming me with open-arms and it is greatly appreciated.  I am still working my same job, but to tell the whole truth I can't see myself promoting the false sense of security and good will that you have when you are stuck working a "9 to 5".  Not saying that it isn't a good gig, which it most certainly is, but I just don't think that it is a road that I could take and get any sort of self gratification out of.  Call me selfish but I don't care at the end of the day if I am making anyone happy out here.  I made this move for me and me alone.  It is hard to say that knowing how long I have worked and all that I have invested in working for this company ( "company" is used in place of the true name of the company I work for ).  I don't know, maybe it is just time to finally get that out of my life just like everything else that was more like clouds in the sky blocking the light that is demanding to be seen.  

That just made me think about Light, the next album by Irreversible and it made me realize how much I miss my friends in the band and everyone else that is connected within our circle that I commonly refer to as IRR.  I see the band as everyone that I know that goes to the Land Trust, to practices, to the dinners I miss so much to everyday people that come into contact with one of us.  Irreversible is more than a band to me, its a communal common-ground that no matter what anyone says is more powerful than that of any single thought that you or I single handedly have because of the collective consciousness that goes into the creation of the sound.  I can't wait to go home and sit on that couch and watch them practice or here the recordings or go to a show.  I would love to find a way to get home on the first to go to the show so hopefully that may happen.  Basically all of that adds up to:

Listen to Irreversible

Go to this blog:  http://www.readirreversible.blogspot.com

Go outside, do something

Don't settle for what is easy to see

Find a few good friends

A few is all you really need

I've been trying to read on my spare time and at work on lunch.  I finally found "Breaking Open The Head" by Daniel Pinchbeck the other day and I have read about a chapter and a half into it.  I case you didn't know, Daniel Pinchbeck has experienced and written about very personal encounters with the Bwiti tribe of West Africa and the sacred psychedelic powers of iboga.  I am always finding myself trying to pickup another book and read it at the same time as I am attempting to read another book.  I think finally I will be able to sit down and fall into this book the same way as I did with DMT: The Sprit Molecule.  That book radically changed my understanding of what reality truly is, and how to attempt to prepare for it.  I highly suggest it as a read, even if you would just like to read about some truly undeniably truthful connections with other worldly beings, places and things.  

Each time a come to a closing part of my entries I will leave you with some of the music I find myself listening to.  I have really found a lot of time to find some good music since I'm all out here on my own for the most part.  So until next time listen to this music, if you can find it.

Playlist:

Kevin Devine & The Goddamn Band - Brother's Blood       ( Not out yet )

Norma Jean - The Anti-Mother

The Hope Conspiracy - New Song Out On Deathwish Sampler

Portugal The Man - Censored Colors